Can I Spoil My Baby By Picking Her Up Every Time She Cries?

Posted by | October 18, 2019 | Lifestyle, Pregnancy Health | No Comments
Crying Baby [Featured Image Credit:  Nutdanai Apikhomboonwaroot /]

Will picking up baby every time he/she cries result in behavioral issues?

There is a lot of controversy surrounding this issue because many parents think that  picking up a child too much will spoil them and make them feel that they are in control. Picking up baby when he/she cries doesn’t lead to behavioral issues if you understand when you should pick the child up and when it’s alright to let him/her cry a little longer.

Should I always pick up my newborn when s/he cries?

The answer to that question is “yes.” Your newborn has just entered a new world that can be both exciting and frightening. During those beginning months of life, it is important for you to respond to your baby’s cries so that he/she will know that they aren’t alone and that they are surrounded by loving people who will care for them.  Picking up your newborn when he/she cries is important to give them a sense of security.

Are there any situations in which a baby should always be picked up?


Image Credit: Phaitoon /

The first thing to keep in mind is that crying is your baby’s only method of communicating. Those tears may be your baby’s way of saying he/she is hungry, needs changing, or is too hot or cold. In these circumstances, you should always pick up your child.

How can a baby become spoiled from being picked up?

Your baby will learn what behaviors will be tolerated from your example. By establishing a pattern of behavior for each situation and repeating that pattern each time you and your baby are in that situation, your child will learn what is the acceptable way to behave. A child becomes spoiled if there are no ground rules and they can simply act in whatever way they choose. A classic example of this is getting your child to go back to sleep after being fed at night. If you continue to talk to the child, play with him/her, or delay putting him/her down after feeding, the child will learn that he he/she can stay awake after a nighttime feed just as he/she would after eating during the day. If, however, after feeding you place the child in his/her crib, it will signal them that they are expected to go back to sleep.

How do I decide when it is right to pick up my baby?

The best thing for parents is to decide how they intend to rear their child after they get to know them. If you feel the child is too dependent you can let him or her cry a minute longer until you pick the child up. All children have little night terrors and will cry out in the middle of the night. See if they will go back to sleep before you rush in to pick them up.



Dr. Mark Gostine

About Dr. Mark Gostine

A physician for more than 30 years. He is a proud father of four and a grandfather of two. The announcement of his daughter Emily’s first pregnancy and the joy of his first grandchild, were major turning points in his life. They became the inspiration for babyQ. From then on, he wanted to dedicate his clinical knowledge and energy to helping young women have healthier pregnancies and better babies. Voted one of the best 100 doctors in his field in America, Dr. Gostine is a practitioner of nutrition who creates health education modules for his patients. He, along with Dr. of my children,” he says. “My hope is that young mothers and fathers everywhere will give their children the best start because it is so much better to prevent disease early than treat it later.” Dr. Gostine, a native of Michigan, received his medical degree from Wayne State University College of Medicine in Detroit, and is Board Certified in both anesthesiology and pain management. He completed his undergraduate studies and his medical residency in anesthesiology at the University of Michigan, Ann Arbor, followed by a pain management fellowship at the Kansas City Consortium in Missouri. Currently President of Michigan Pain Consultants and Founder of ProCare Systems, he is based in Grand Rapids, Michigan.